My life so far has been turmoil of spiritual feelings. My earliest memory was when I was about 5 or 6 playing out the back of the flat on Hickman road, as usual totally on my own with my ‘friends’ you know the ones you cannot see now.
As I am now the more that I try to remember the past the more it comes back, but in a very unusual way, this could be when I’m at work or doing anything in general. The memory is rattled by something and its there…. Quite strange really, but hey what will be will be.
I was born in 1974 the second child, my dad a hard working gent and mum well a great mum basically. My dad I think planted all the seed of life in my head. I remember watching all the wildlife programs and battering him with questions. My mum she provided the answers to life… You know sex and stuff, never embarrassed just always there… With the odd titter or two.
When we moved to Grove Farm things changed for me spiritually. The bottom of the hill had loads of fields and the top of Kingswood road had the small wood. Through the rail tunnel was the Yenton estate which led you to what we called the Black track and more fields. I can remember getting up early and just going off and playing on my own [in the days you could] but never feeling on my own always happy and feeling secure.
This went on for years and the more that I sit back and gather my thoughts the more comes back, the more that comes back the more I see… Quite hard to explain but keep an open mind. Through out all of my adventures I never thought about religion until I started hanging out with two lads from another street who were regulars to the local Calvary church… and off I went not a care in the world of what it was about. This was because my parents never ploughed ’God’ into me. They were of the opinion ’you find your own’.
Going along with the Calvary crew and what they got up to was just a thing to do to me but the one thing I remember that they never did was to go off to the woods and fields that I always did. I got into Sunday School and listened to what they were saying but it just never grasped me and to see all these people worshiping and singing just made me ask more… ‘What to, why are they, and have they ever seen this man???’ I never understood what all the fuss was about with this book and all its stories and its John this, Luke that. I did try but I found I was more interested in why Lucifer ‘Their Devil’ was such a big thing, why this man son of god died on the cross.. My questions got too much and the ones that I wanted answering never satisfied me… I just went back to being me again…
As time went on Schools changed and friends did, my love of the out doors and woods didn’t dwindle it just became harder to do. Holidays were booked abroad and new adventures began but I still missed our Albion as I know it now.
College came and went but while this was going on my attentions changed to a wonderful girl who I was at secondary school with. We had a very lengthy courtship and got married some 14 years ago now.
One of the main reasons that I am Wicca is because of what has been opened up to me by my wife. She has always had an interest in all things spiritual and has a gift that I find amazing. It’s quite funny really that for years she was waiting for this spark in me to ignite again the one I had when I was a child but it all came to ahead when I was very ill and had almost a year out from work.
We have friends that own a local shop that deals with all things spiritual and my wife came home with a magazine called Pagan Dawn. One night a say down to read it and it was like I was hit with so many answers in one massive blow, from then on I never looked at anything in the same way. Everything was clear. The time gave me a chance to break the cycle of what I came to know as day to day routine. I had the chance to discover ‘Me’ again.
I ordered a book called ‘Being a Pagan’ and my journey began. The book gave me an insight into the lives of others that are among us, lives that are so diverse and enlightening that it made me more aware and tolerant of people, yes I was and have been very judgmental of my fellow kin. That summer I spent learning and walking with my children and friends around our local woods and country side and the feeling that I got from my world around me was so emotional. I was back, back to the old me. The trees spoke, the world around me became clear and my wife just became my teacher, and still is. The knowledge that this woman possesses is exceptional .The more I look back at my attitude when I was growing up and my love for nature the more I seem to remember. The world around us is hard but this is down to Human kind. No devil makes you do bad things its free will. Christianity and The Christian god did awful things to my pagan ancestry all for religion and this still goes on today not just with Christians but all other spiritual paths.
There are many religions on this wonderful mother, we need to tolerate and learn from them. I am proud to say I am Pagan and Wiccan. I follow the three fold law and even though I am not perfect I see all around me what happens when I do something that is not of the law… Yes I do stray and pay for it I do. No one is that good but recognising the fact that this happens makes you more aware of deity and Karma.
You learn everyday within Wicca and I would suspect any spirituality. I have met and meet many wonderful people since I became Wiccan. I have been contacted by others to help them this is one of the reasons I started my site. There are things on this planet that no science can explain there are Witches of the old religion among us, I have met hereditary ones and self anointed ones all wonderful people. I suppose I consider myself a Witch but not an elder… Not yet. Lots more to do before that tag is placed. But with understanding and love I can help others to see that the word Witch is not the image of movies and children’s books but of a person that loves nature and the world around us.
Remember your life is mapped out already, what will be will be and things happen for a reason. Good or bad. Today I am more chilled and aware of things. I have involved and immersed myself in spirituality with a plan to read more and teach others including my ever questioning children. To those in my life that don’t agree, I care not a jot. To those who wish to learn I am here. My life is changing day in day out and I still have the regular thins to get on with…all be it easier now.
The Brightest of Blessings to all
Lee,
Paganboynuneaton.
